1innervoice

January 5, 2019

Oh my! It’s been 7 years since I touched this website. So many changes and so much having transpired in that time. So, I thought I’d see if I still had something to say…well of course I do! 🙂

Day 29

“let it go — the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise — let it go it
was sworn to
go

let them go — the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and
neithers — you must let them go they
were born
to go

let all go — the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things — let all go
dear
so comes love”
― E.E. Cummings

Day 28

I am all things possible.

I can AND I will.

Can’t believe it has been four days since my last post. My big project is larger and more complex than I ever imagined. It surrounds an event that took place almost 18 years ago. This is something I have wanted to put to paper for a long time, I never knew the feelings and emotions it could stir up this many years later. I will continue to post and quote and participate in my expressions of who I am.

Day 24

Working on a big project, no post today, sorry 😦

Day 23

When we look back over our lives we tend to paint them the way that makes us feel good…the negative get muted, put in the background or omitted completely. Sometimes those pictures need to be revisited…often the answers to things that plague us now can be found in those hidden or forgotten images.

Day 22

un·re·quit·ed http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf (nr-kwtd)

Day 21

I saw this on a friend’s post one day, she wasn’t sure where it had originally come from, but well worth passing along.

The 3 C’s of Life

You must make the Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change… good stuff 😉

Do it! I know that you can! You know that you can!

Day 20

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”
― Michelangelo Buonarroti

Day 19

“I used to care about how other people thought I led my life. But lately I’ve realized that most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to give anybody else even the scantiest of thoughts.”
― Douglas Coupland, Microserfs

I am ensconced today cooking and watching football, quite a combination no? I love to cook and now that I am volunteering 5 days a week, Saturdays have become cleaning day and Sundays are cook days…The football? Well, many would be surprised to hear that I am watching. Truth be known, I am not only watching I am very much into the playoff games heading toward the Super Bowl. I haven’t  watched since 1994 after my husband passed away. He very, very, very sports driven and it got very, very, very tedious. So I abandoned sports. My daughter recently got excited and energetic about our San Francisco 49ers, always had been my team as well…She ignited a fire in me, only two weeks left in the season and I get involved…Not just the 9ers I watch a lot and I enjoy it, I truly understand the game so I think that helps a lot. Anyway, that is my Sunday 🙂

Day 18

“Housework would never be her crowning achievement, the life’s work for which she’d be known.”
― Gail Anderson-Dargatz, A Recipe for Bees

I kind of have to hope that is true. I have never been a “clean freak” but now that I am at the grammar school 5 days a week nothing in that genre happens during the week. So, I make a list, actually I make a list for everyday, I think it is important to hold oneself accountable. Well, I began the day with 12 items on my list, have crossed off 6, so I feel pretty good, right? Hmm, now on tomorrow’s list I have 10 items…REALLY? How in the world does that happen? And, how come my 3 favorite items; read, write, relax, won’t happen on either day even though I make sure they are on the list?

Day 17

“ Many of us are slaves to our minds. Our own mind is our worst enemy. We try to focus, and our mind wanders off. We try to keep stress at bay, but anxiety keeps us awake at night. We try to be good to the people we love, but then we forget them and put ourselves first. And when we want to change our life, we dive into spiritual practice and expect quick results, only to lose focus after the honeymoon has worn off. We return to our state of bewilderment. We’re left feeling helpless and discouraged. It seems we all agree that training the body through exercise, diet, and relaxation is a good idea, but why don’t we think about training our minds?”
― Sakyong Mipham

I so believe this to be true. I added yoga to my daily regimen about a year ago and the transformation is amazing. I then added my meditation about 4 months ago. These are both very easy very slow tools to begin training the mind and the body to move in another direction. The changes, the rewards are monumental, I cannot imagine my day beginning without them. 15 minutes of meditation followed by 30-45 minutes of yoga prepares my body and mind for the day. During my dog’s morning walk I commune with my God, followed by 30 minutes of power walking. I am energized, focused and eager to meet the day and what it has to offer and more than willing to go in whichever it direction it may take me. When time constraints present themselves I simply get up earlier, the only step I will forego if necessary is the power walk.

Day 16

“i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes.”
― E.E. Cummings

Say yes…

Day 15

“Passion is passion. It’s the excitement between the tedious spaces, and it doesn’t matter where it’s directed…It can be coins or sports or politics or horses or music or faith…the saddest people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t care deeply about anything at all.”
― Nicholas Sparks, Dear John

Day 14

“Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

My mom used to always say that youth is wasted on the young. I believed that for the longest time but now I am not so sure. Someone posted once what the timeline scenario might be like if that were true. If we were born old how many would make it to see youth? Most life threatening and debilitating illnesses and afflictions occur in old age. And, who in the world would want to have life taken away just as they were enjoying the freedoms and innocence of their lives? I think the original plans works just fine.

Day 13

“Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.”
― Gordon B. Hinckley

Day 12

“Dare to Be

When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.

When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light.

When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it.

When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway.

When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.

When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some.

When you’re feeling tired, dare to keep going.

When times are tough, dare to be tougher.

When love hurts you, dare to love again.

When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.

When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.

When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand.

When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile.

When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.

When the day has ended, dare to feel as you’ve done your best.

Dare to be the best you can –

At all times, Dare to be!”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Sunday, January 1, 2012. A new day, new year, a happy and prosperous one to all…Breathe in deeply and slowly exhale…Imagine all of the possibilities…You are all things possible, you can and you will. Be POSSIBLE! You are your own destiny, step outside of your boundaries once in a while and let a little sunlight in everyday…

Day 11

“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Saturday, December 31, 2011. Last day of the year, good riddance or sorry to see you go?

Day 10

“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Relationships…talk about showing your underbelly, being totally and completely vulnerable and vested…Haven’t been in a “true” relationship for over 17 years but am getting curious. Don’t have a clue what that would truly entail, I am more than a bit independent, have answered to no one but myself, am not used to sharing, but still I am curious. What would I like this “relationship” to include? Mutual attraction, acceptance of each other for who we are not who we can be or become. Mutual interests but respect for the other’s independent interests. Friendship. Open communication and brutal honesty. Mutual trust, loyalty and respect. A desire to raise, lift up the other person to be the best possible person they can be through total support and unyielding faith. And, from these things maybe perhaps a love may blossom, a warm comfortable deep love. Growing, caring sharing…enveloping all those around us…as one hand placed atop the other’s and their’s atop mine and on and on…

This is just one small part of my morning meditation mantra…Namaste 🙂

Day 9

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”
― Maya Angelou

Change is so scary…rubs against human nature in every way. But, if we don’t make changes whether large or small then there is no forward movement. If there is no forward movement then we become stagnant and stagnant things tend to die… Hmmm … Well, that certainly isn’t a very happy thought.

 I hear people say they aren’t happy with the way things are going in their life. It may be related to their job, relationships, their living situation, their personal appearance in one area or another, or they just aren’t happy and they can’t get excited about anything. So, perhaps a change of some sort may be in order…”What? do something differently? Or try something new?” No, they just want things to change but they don’t want to participate in that change nor take responsibility for it…Sorry, that just isn’t going to work…One step at a time, I promise when you see how easy it is and the reward that small change gives back, you will wonder why you hadn’t tried this long before.

Day 8

“1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”
― Miguel Ruiz

I know this is a rather long quote but please take the time to read it. This is everything that I am striving for in my life, I so admire Miguel’s words…they are part of my daily mantra and the person I would like to become.

This brings up the word regret…it means so many things to so many people. I have always thought of regrets as lessons not learned. You hear someone say “I regret doing that…” or “I regret not having done that…”, could have, should have, would have…If you have ever done something you wouldn’t do again then you have learned the lesson and are ready to move on…If you haven’t done something yet then perhaps it isn’t time…I just think a regret is a terrible waste of time, energy and emotion. It represents a life experience, good bad or indifferent…and it is already in the past, something that is already done, the outcome cannot be altered in any way. So be grateful, learn and move on…

Day 7

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is Tuesday, December 27, 2011. I am oh so very grateful. Configuring, setting up and playing with my first laptop. I feel like I just brought a new baby home from the hospital. Very exciting, lots to learn so a very short post today…THANK YOU!!

Day 6

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Well, Christmas decor is packed away for another year.  I know this is a bit early for a lot of people but I decorate the day after Thanksgiving and there is another method to my madness. A new year is less than a week away, I figure it is a good idea to have things put back in order, so to speak, to make room for all the amazing and wonderful adventures and experiences that the New Year has to share with me…

Do not for a moment think that I didn’t completely enjoy yesterday. Keep in mind, I am a woman well into my fifties and live alone. I bounded out of bed at 4am with the energy and giddiness of a young child excited for what, I wasn’t sure. I opened all the blinds, turned on all the Xmas lights inside and out. Grabbed a cup of coffee, pulled up Pandora and began playing Xmas music, then proceeded to email every friend and family member I knew I wouldn’t see later in the day to wish a great big Merry Christmas. A huge smile on my face the whole time. It was a delightful day and I can’t think of anything to have made it any better…

Day 5

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! Peace and Love to you all 🙂

Day 4

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
― Mark Twain

Hmm Saturday, December 24, 2011…Christmas Eve…A childhood memory, though I had not thought about it till I sat down before screen and keyboard.

My dad worked a lot, he owned a grocery store, but on Christmas Eve they closed early which was so much fun for my brothers and I. Dad always waited till Christmas Eve to get mom’s present. I don’t know if he was afraid he couldn’t hide it from her? Or, he simply didn’t have time. This particular year he invited me, just me, to go along with him on his search. Yeah, color me just a little excited. We went to mom’s favorite dress shop, yes decades before malls. She was a very petite woman with impeccable taste and I don’t know how I could possibly help, but I was there with my dad, just me and him. We picked out a nice outfit, exactly what that was I don’t remember, but I do know she was happy. I got to spend time with my dad and it made my mom happy… 🙂

Day 3

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.”
― Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

It is Friday, December 23, 2011 and the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season intensifies with each passing hour. Children’s energy and adrenaline continues to grow more and more while for many adults it is waning more and more. Decorating, food, work, parties, family, wrapping, travel…and a moment for a bit of sanity?…hmmm I wonder. Purely observations, may the outcome be everything everyone wants!

Day 2

“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.”

― Katharine Hepburn, Me: Stories of My Life

Strive

As defined by Merriam-Webster http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/strive

1: to devote serious effort or energy : endeavor <strive to finish a project>
2: to struggle in opposition : contend

Strive:

To wake thankful for the day
To see the sunrise
To touch your toes and reach for the sky
To nourish your body well
To exercise both mind and body
To live in the moment, this instant, this second
To sit quietly for 5 minutes, breath and simply listen to the beat of your heart
To smile, to say hi, to extend a hand to another
To take just a moment to notice something new…a sight, sound, smell or touch
To see the sunset
To be grateful
To sleep soundly and peacefully

Everyday 🙂

Day 1

I like to begin each day with a quotation expressing my feelings, emotions and perspective for the day…

“Do you think I’ll ever get better at this? That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?”
― Stephenie Meyer, New Moon

It is Wednesday, December 21…the mad Christmas rush is on for millions of people, I sure hope they enjoy the hustle and bustle of it all. I don’t miss it, gave up that craziness several years ago. So, here I am sitting in front of my screen listening to wonderful music, the animals of the house lazily lying on the couch and the floor. I am comfortable, at peace and there is a big grin on my face…Happy Holidays!

We learn from present what we did not know in the past and use in the future…